Day 5: Tiger, Tiger, Burning Bright

That, for the visually impaired, is not a clock at 4:30 , but in fact a thermometer which is reading, for the really visually impaired, roughly 125 degrees Fahrenheit. That thermometer was sitting in the grass along the walkway between the two driving ranges, and really, really dampened spirits around the course. Percentage-wise, the most common responses to the question, "how ya doin?" around the course are:

78 % --- "Hot."
20 % --- "Surviving."
2 % --- " 2 under par."

Knowing just how hot it was going to be, I did what any sane-minded person would do, left for the course at 2:00 in the afternoon. It couldn't have been hotter outside. Unfortunately, arriving at the course in the early afternoon, after arriving early yesterday, meant that, generally speaking, the same players would be playing. Fortunately, that meant Tiger Woods.

I first made tracks for where I began yesterday, hole 5. This time, I wouldn't mess it up. Sure enough, the first group that came my way was Ogilvy, Garcia and Lehman. I was standing about halfway down the hole, and the players had all hit their approaches, save for Garcia. I was only able to snap this one picture, of Ogilvy waiting for his partner to play.

I'm gonna warn you now, today's pictures are especially mediocre.

Two more groups passed by, before the oh so familiar swarm began to form around the tee box, signaling the arrival of el Tigre. He was two-under on the day, one-under for the tournament, having birdied the first and fourth holes Friday. He came to hole five sizzling on a day that was certainly not wanting for more heat. He wasn't looking so hot when he first caught my eye today, as he'd driven it into the fairway bunker to the right of the fairway.

You might need to blow this one up to get a good look.

He striped a long iron that chased up within 40 yards, then chipped it close and tapped in for birdie. Rather than abandon him, and the crowds, I followed him up to the sixth tee. He took out a seven iron and hit about the best shot possible onto the tricky putting surface, flying just over the stick and and settling on the fringe. He would miss the put, however, and settle for par.

Tiger watching and waiting with his caddy on the sixth tee.

"What? No more Tiger?!" Never fear, friend, I haven't let you down yet, he'll be heard from again. He is Tiger, after all.

I trotted back down the the fifth green, where K.J. Choi, Henrik Stenson, and Hunter Mahan were putting, in the group just behind Tiger. I realized I didn't have a picture of Choi, who is having an outstanding year on tour, so I snapped one and moved on, still trying to avoid being spotted by 'the man'.

K.J. Choi (in yellow) and Stenson (in white, practicing a putt)

Their group was followed by Charles Howell III and Shingo Katayama. Yes, technically there was someone else playing in the group, but they obviously weren't important enough to remember. Oh, it was Lee Westwood. Told you you wouldn't care, besides he's already been in this blog. Charles Howell III is getting his first face time with us.

For those of you who don't know, Charles Howell III's story is not all that unlike Oliver Twist's. Orphaned at a young age, and forced to fight and struggle just to survive a dangerous and frightening childhood, the young Charles overcame mountainous obstacles in the quest to fulfilling his dream of being a professional golfer. Yeah, that sounds about right. Okay, so based on him being a III you could probably guess that was complete bullshit. He grew up in Augusta, Georgia, home of the Masters Tournament and has been playing golf since he was seven years old. His family were members of Augusta Country Club, an insanely exclusive club adjacent to Augusta National Golf Club, where he grew up playing. Most people will never, in their life, have the chance, ney, privilege of playing at Augusta, Chuckie boy's been doing it his whole life...and now he does it for a living. Anyway here he is walking up the fifth with Shingo.

Chuckie thinks playing Southern Hills is child's play (anyone?)

Stephen Ames had a great round today, and was warming down on the practice range as I walked back up to the 1st/9th/18th/10th area. Ames was one of only two players (the other being his countryman, Geoff Ogilvy) to break par in each of his first two rounds, following up Thursday's 68 with a tidy 69, leaving him at three-under for the tournament.

Start...

Finish...

Rubdown.

Further down the range, Kentuckian Kenny Perry was hitting a few balls. Perry never seems to grab many headlines, but he's been a solid producer on tour for the better part of the last two decades. In 2006, he became the 10th man to reach $20 Million in career earnings on the PGA Tour, which is nothing to sneeze at. That being said, you probably wouldn't know him from the man who brings you onion rings at Sonic.

Perry made the cut by shooting back-to-back 72s.

Just leaving the range was Justin Leonard, the former University of Texas golfer was about to head off on a courtesy cart for the locker room when I shouted out to him, "Excuse me, Justin! Can you sign my student ID?"

Justin, from his days at UT.

He took another step, then turned and came to the railing. I pulled out my wallet, opened it, and removed the student ID of a one Brent Alan Hedblom, who was, evidently, at one time a student at UT. I found this ID while clearing out my brother's old bedside table. Neither he nor I went to UT, but having a UT ID is useful for getting into football games, going to Gregory gym, or, evidently, getting autographs. Justin signed it with my crappy pen, and I said "hook 'em" to him for good measure, and he returned the gesture.

You didn't honestly think you'd get through an entire post without at least one ridiculous story, did you?
That's Justin's signature to the left of the seal. I look handsome, no?

The walk from the lower range to the upper range is guarded by a series of makeshift local television studios, where the men and women who read the high school football scores and appear at the opening of local furniture stores anxiously await the stroke of six to bring you "all the latest from Southern Hills!"

If I were practicing on the range, I would aim for nothing, apart from these studios.

"Coming up next, can bees think? A new study confirms that no, they cannot."

Speaking of sportscasters (quality segue right there), while walking the very same media mile two days ago, who should I see but Larry Smith, the familiar face of CNN's sports coverage. "Who?" you ask, well wait until I put the picture up before you start googling. He was filming a short intro bit for his upcoming report from Southern Hills, while standing on top of a milk crate. This was the third time I'd seen a newscaster (and I know I'm not the only one that's noticed this) standing on something in front of the camera, in an effort to appear taller. That's why people always say, "gee, you look taller on TV...", that's because they are taller on TV! Cheaters...some of us had to earn our height the old fashioned way...by drinking milk and hanging from the monkey bars.

Imposter!

Once I reached the top, I had a small heat stroke. When I came to, I walked to the 9th fairway. On the way there, I saw Jeff Quinney, the other leading candidate for Rookie of the Year (along with our boy, Anthony Kim), seeking refuge from the browbeating sun beneath a small tree.

That's not a shitty picture, it's just so hot everybody and everything turns blurry in real life.

I briefly caught a glimpse of John Daly walking down the 18th fairway, who was leading the tournament at three-under par when he teed off this afternoon. He struggled today, only hitting one fairway en route to a 73, leaving him at even par for the tournament. A top ten finish for him would, I think, go a long way in bolstering his confidence for the rest of the year, but for some reason I get the feeling he doesn't care either way.

Big John.

Along the 9th fairway, I saw the mass of people that follows Tiger everywhere, likely even to the bathroom. He really does get followed everywhere, I have proof. Seriously, it's just like at the end of that clip, with everyone yelling "Let's go, Tiger!!" no matter what he's doing. Sure enough, Tiger was teeing off just as I reached the ropes. He teed off third, meaning he had bogeyed either 7 or 8 to lose the honors to his playing partner. Tiger hit a long iron off the tee on the short par 4 into the fairway. When he got to his ball, I took this picture.

Getting ready to absolutely stuff one.

Tiger struck a towering short iron that landed 6 feet past the hole and rolled back inside of two feet for a tap-in birdie, to go out in 32, three under par for the round. He was just getting warmed up.

A Tiger-sized crowd. If you look closely you can see him walking to #10 tee. Call it a find the baller in motion challenge.

His tee shot on 10: another long iron on another shortish par 4, was picture perfect, and followed it with an equally superb approach. Back to back birdies.

As the crowd walked down the 10th fairway with Tiger's group, I stopped and jaunted on over to the 12th green, where I stayed for about 10 minutes, before running and catching up with Tiger on 11. Tom Lehman, Geoff Ogilvy and Sergio were walking up to the 12th green as I arrived. Ogilvy was quietly having a great round, and would, two holes later, find himself briefly tied with Tiger atop the leaderboard at five under par, before finishing the day in a tie for third at three under.

Ogilvy waiting patiently (right) as Sergio lines up a putt (he made it).

The next group featured the great Scot Colin Montgomerie, who struggled to a 73, but managed to make the cut right on the number at 5 over par.

Monty chipping on 12.

Montgomerie was playing alongside Ernie Els and Stewart Cink; another one of the power groupings on the course. All three players will be playing the weekend, Els fairing the best, finishing at even par for the tournament after shooting a two under 68.

Please excuse the arm. Els walking in front, Cink in back (in blue).

Zipping back across to catch up with Tiger, I was forced to wait along the 10th fairway to watch K.J. Choi hit his approach shot. Turned out to be a blessing in disguise, because it yielded the day's only true action shot.

I honestly don't know if you can see the ball in this one. Choi on 10.

The pudgy Texan Chad Campbell, in the group following Els, Cink and Monty, was forced to chip out of the rough on 12, but then stuffed his approach to within a foot or two to save par. Here's a shot of that approach.

Chad 'stay puff' Campbell pitching on 12.

Meanwile, Tiger disappointingly two-putted for par on 11 from only about 12 feet. On 12, he found trouble on his approach, blasted out of the sand, and was left with a 30 foot putt for par, which he coolly canned, and gave a signature fist pump, the roar sending shockwaves across the course.

Tiger being Tiger after saving par on 12.

God bless youtube, I just found video of the putt, you'll have to pardon the annoying announcer.

Tiger then reeled off three consecutive birdies at 13, 14 and 15, highlighted by a chip-in from just off the green on #14. He'd had Steve pull the pin beforehand; he was planning on making it.

A very familiar sight.

By this time Tiger was knocking on history's door. The record score for a single round shot in a major championship is 63, which has been done by a little more than 20 people throughout history. No one has ever shot 62. Tiger, with three holes to play, needed just one more birdie to place his name all alone atop another of golf's greatest records. Pars at 16 and 17 left him with a single hole to set the record. His drive set him up in perfect position, from which he hit another towering approach that bounced once, checked, and came to a stop 15 feet from the hole.

A popular position for players' approaches throughout the day, Tiger was familiar with the line and speed required to drain it. The crowd cooled to a low murmur, even the players on the ninth green stopped to watch Tiger take a shot at history. He struck the putt, firm and on target. It held every bit of the line all the way to the hole, looking center cut until the very, very, very last moment...

The crowd erupts, seeing the ball begin to dip into the cup. More than half of the ball disappears from sight, before careening around the edge and lipping out, taking with it Tiger's shot at seizing history as his own. The premature cheers wilt into groans of disbelief as Tiger flips the putter over his left shoulder, disgusted.

Not a happy camper.

He tapped for a 63, tied the record, and shot the best round of the day, but, pulling his hat down hard and low over his eyes as the other players finished out, it wasn't hard to tell what he wanted most of all.

Everyone had stayed to watch Tiger take a run at history, so it took a little longer than normal to get off the premises, but I had the impression that no one minded the extra lines, having gotten a chance to see the best player in the world, chasing history, playing his best. It was truly a magical day at the PGA, and I'm so glad I got to be a part of it, and, that in some way you now feel as if you were, too.

For the record, today's photographed players faired much better than yesterday's (as you might imagine). We came in with total relative to par of 5 over. Definitely respectable.

Big day tomorrow, moving day! Can't wait to see what the leaderboard looks like once the dust settles. Should be one hell of a day.

Wait! Man, I always almost forget...the hottest person of the day award. Well, if you think about it, only one person was hotter than anyone else today...

Sizzling.

I know, I know, two cop-out HPOTD awards in a row??? I wouldn't normally, but I felt bad for Tiger missing out on his 62 and the piece of history, I figured he should win something. I promise tomorrow to get back to finding some nice, odoriferously overweight spectators for you to enjoy.